Entry 27: Oasis

As fair warning, this post is about my faith and relationship with God, so if you if you have no interest in reading, no hard feelings, I'm just trying to save you some time. I will post an entry about my "wonderful" 4th graders soon enough, but this is what is on my mind and my heart.

Oasis: something serving as a refuge, relief, or pleasant change from what is usual, annoying, difficult, etc.

By this definition, Korea is an oasis for me regarding my spiritual walk.

I had conversations with multiple people about Korea before I even planned on coming to live here for half a year, and most of those conversations spoke of the spiritual decay of the country, how it is falling into a materialistic and selfish country. People spoke of the liberal ideologies of the next generation and the suppressed sexual frustration of pretty much the entire country. I have heard the stories of moral decay even while I spend my time living in this country. I saw Korea as my desert spiritually for a variety of reasons, but the one reason why Korea feels like my desert is simply because I am alone.

I am not in the bustling city of Seoul and I sometimes go days without seeing someone I recognize. This is a stark contrast to the way that I lived my life in Austin, where I was constantly surrounded by fellow brothers and sisters who constantly had been looking out for me, and to my home in Dallas where my parents and sisters would make sure that my walk with God was not stagnant. This isolation and harsh transition socially, has created a (what I feel is drastic) change in my personality. If you read before, this was partially the anguish that I was experiencing, the harsh realities of being alone and isolated.

But I have found an oasis. I have found clarity in my faith and a deeper understanding of my relationship with God.

When I wrote that post on the anguish that I was feeling, I was grieving over my sin, over my idolization of fellowship, over my pride, over my lust, over all the things that makes me human, over all the things that make me imperfect. During the following weeks, God was teaching me the lesson of grace. The lesson of His forgiveness when I deserve nothing but death. I understood to a deeper extent how my sin was leading me towards a life unfulfilled. He gave me His grace, and I was no longer suffocating beneath my burden. It was the anguish that led me to Christ. It was the blood of Christ and the power of the Spirit that gave me freedom from the burden of my failure. I was a failure, but I can honestly tell you know that I am moving forward.

The next phase of my spiritual journey in Korea was the realization that the Spirit of God, aka the Holy Spirit, wants to have a relationship with me. The Bible talks about the Spirit as being the Helper, the Comforter, as God. We know that the Holy Spirit is a part of the Trinity, but honestly, as most of the church still thinks, the Holy Spirit wasn't as important to me as God the Father or Jesus. The Holy Spirit was one of those cool things that just made things better, but He wasn't necessary, to be honest, sometimes I even forgot that He was God or even a part of the Trinity.

The best way for me to illustrate what I have learned during this time of building a relationship with the Holy Spirit is this, He is my significant other.

Let me try to explain. You see, I have a girlfriend, her name is Eunice. The first time we met, we didn't exactly see eye to eye (she pretty much shut me up and put me in my place), but over time, the two of us started to talk. It didn't just happen overnight (no matter what anyone says), but our relationship grew more and more each day. What I am trying to explain, we weren't intimate with each other from the get go, but instead our relationship was based on the conversations and time that we spent with each other. We both agree that the conversations that we have had with each other were of more importance than that of any kiss we have shared. This isn't to say that the intimate moments we have had together are not important, because they are.

I've always known that God wanted a relationship with me. I just thought it had to always be miraculously intimate or earth shatteringly amazing. I thought that in order to meet Him, I would have to see visions or dream a crazy dream. But in the same way that some of the most intimate moments I have had with my girlfriend happen during the common moments (hearing her laugh, the way she says "hi" on the telephone, the way she looks with absolutely no makeup on) I have found that I am more amazed at the conversations I have had with the Spirit of God. Instead of trying to jump right in an intimate relationship with Him, I've really tried to get to know Him. He's a person, He has a personality, He has emotion, He loves me. It is the moments that it is just Him and me, that really remind me of the strength of our relationship and how good He is to me. Those times at retreats and mission trips where I was completely filled were AMAZING, don't get me wrong, because those were some of the most amazing moments with the Spirit, but it's the day-to-day things that really make our relationship special. Sometimes opening up the Bible and hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit is more powerful than the ground shaking. It's the little things about relationships that makes them so special.

I'm still getting to know the Holy Spirit. I'm still learning His mannerisms, what his dislikes are, what his likes are, what makes Him happy, what makes Him sad, what makes Him angry. Something that I am sure of is this, the more time I spend with the Spirit, the more I want Jesus. The more I want to see the Son glorified.

As I am in this oasis, this honeymoon stage of my relationship with the Spirit, I have one HUGE goal when I go back to school. Start spreading and telling people the benefits of a life completely surrendered to Christ.

I have a desire to spread the good news of Jesus Christ. I don't want to be obnoxious, but when you are in an intimate, long term relationship with someone, you end up sharing the same interests. The Holy Spirit loves Jesus. He loves to glorify Jesus. I think His interests are starting to rub off on me.

I'm still learning. I'm still growing. I am far from perfect (just ask Eunice, she'll probably be able to give you a long list of all my faults [hopefully she also has a long list of my redeeming qualities]), but I just know that this trip in Korea has really ruined me for Christ.

Jesus is alive and He wants to give you the best life you could ever have.


I'm so pumped up about this that, here, email me.

jeremyroh@gmail.com

It doesn't matter who you are, where you are from, even if you don't know me (even if you know me), send me an email. Let's talk about God. Let's talk about what you believe even if it isn't in Jesus. If you want someone to talk to, if you want someone to just hear you out, I don't know. Here is my email. Just as fair warning, I believe that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, but we are all entitled to our beliefs right?

Yo, church, yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you. We have an amazingly powerful God, who is on our side, why are we so quiet about it? Why is it that people are more interested in who is dating who, rather than what God is doing in our lives? I'm not condemning or judging. I'm just saying, let's live lives abandoned.

We are the bride of Christ. We have a fiancé in Christ so much better than Jim Halpert. Let's start acting like it.

I love you guys. Let's get excited about what God is doing.